tears and quiet moments
my tears are my only sure confidant...crying makes the heart be calm.
i believe that crying will surely make you feel better. After that awful day, where I can't believe myself, yesterday was the only time where I let out all my hidden feelings... I want to show everyone that I'm strong. that I don't cry hard... but It's not really easy to hide the hurt you don't want people to find out. And it's definitely hard to let go of someone just because of your own true feelings. I know that I love him just a CLOSE AND TRUSTED FRIEND right now... and I know that what I did is the only right thing to do. I have to let go. He has to let go of me. I can't bear a couple more days... months.... or years... hurting him. But now, I know that it's pretty hard to be alone. With no one when you need someone... but I can handle this... :]
I am independent. I will always be happy even though I'm not. Days are filled with laughs. and nights with tears. My seat in class full of memories. and my pillow in bed full of emotional worries.
It takes a lot of courage to take one big step. To fully leave someone who has never left in rainy and sunny seasons. It takes DREAMFUL NIGHTS to surely say that I wouldn't regret it after... i know that my decision will be judged by people... persons... and friends. and i know that the guy really has to be sacrificial.. but may I let you know, that it's also hard for me... I never said it was easy for me to turn away from the years I've been with this person... I am blaming myself for letting him feel what I MUST BE FEELING. but still im disappointed of myself for making this GUY cry and stoop down...
But here it is.. It was brought to me.. All i can say is the most sincerest sorry...
Life's purpose is not to give us happiness...
It's to give us breakdowns and learn to feel happiness after...
(please respect my moment... pls. understand both sides. although it's harder for him.... blame me for everything.)
Labels: life matters, ME blahblahs, SAD me
posted by Charmaine D. @ 3:41 AM
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